A couple of weeks back, we discussed how to write a letter to a company when feeling, for one reason or another, that they didn't "come through for you" or handle something in the most appropriate manner (profnet@velocity.net with WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION Issue 35 in the subject line). This type of letter is written with tact and diplomacy, and with a definite "call to action." The same principle also applies if you ever need to write to an individual for a similar reason. Those are letters that are written "and sent", but let's talk about another kind.

Have you ever been very angry, furious, seething mad, enraged at someone who mistreated you? And, as hard as you tried, you just couldn't forget about it and let it go? But confronting them about it was not the appropriate course of action (and there could be many reasons for this)? Then write a letter.  An absolutely scathing, insulting letter. Let it all hang out. Don't hold back. Write every nasty thought about that person that comes to your mind. Put that letter in an envelope, address that envelope, and even put a stamp on it if you'd like. Then, before mailing that letter, tear it up into a thousand pieces!

Your anger will have subsided dramatically, and no one will ever know.

Author and speaker Zig Ziglar gave that wise piece of advice to a woman who approached him after a program to tell him of a personal situation she had gone through, which really aroused her resentment. I had opened for Zig that day, and was standing right there. What a great experience to see Zig at his best, taking time to counsel this person right after performing one of his high-energy presentations.

Sometimes it is correct to send a letter expressing resentment of a situation - after waiting a few days before writing it, of course, and expressing your feelings diplomatically. But, in this case, Zig gave the perfect piece of advice.

That was another one of Abe Lincoln's techniques, too. Sometimes he needed to express his angry feelings just to get it off his chest so he'd write a letter with every scathing remark and insult he could think of and then tear it up or file it away forever. You see, if no one would benefit from that letter being sent and people would be unnecessarily hurt, the letter wouldn't add positively to the situation.  The best thing you can do is never send it. But do write it!  Writing that letter is wonderful therapy. You'll get your negative feelings out of your system and be very glad you did. Who wants to carry around anger such as that?

Consider taking Zig's and Abe's wise advice. Do write the letter...then tear it up.