One
of your most valuable skills in any business is the
ability to "read" people. The people you interact with
each day send you signals on how to work with them most
effectively. If you learn what to look and listen for,
each person will tell you exactly how to treat him effectively.
So what is there to read?
Dozens
of signals--verbal, vocal and visual, tell you when
to speed up or slow down, when to focus on the details,
or when to work on building the relationship with the
other person. But why does your technique work sometimes
and not at other times? Mostly because people are different.
Personality
Needs
Everyone
experiences the same basic human needs, but with each
person some needs are more dominant than others. The
four major groupings of needs are results, recognition,
regimentation, and relationships.
For
example.
One
person may be the type who measures his success by results.
To him, the finished product is the most important thing,
and he'll do whatever it takes, within reason, to get
the job done. His dominant need is for accomplishment.
Then
there is the sensitive, warm, supportive type of person
whose dominant need is relationships. This appeal that
would work well with a results-oriented person might
be totally inappropriate for the person interested in
relationships.
A
third type of person usually places high value on recognition
and measures success by the amount of acknowledgment
and praise he receives.
Conversely,
another person will be more concerned with the content
than the congratulations. The primary need appears to
be for regimentation. In other words, things must be
put together in neat packages that can be clearly understood.
You
can quickly see that a different type of appeal is necessary
for each of these four "personalities." Recognizing
this is very important because once you've learned the
needs of each major behavior pattern, you will know
how to work more effectively with each type of person.
Behavioral
Style Characteristics
When
people act and react in social situations, they exhibit
clues that help to define their behavioral styles. You
can identify behavioral style by watching for the observable
aspects of people's behavior - those verbal, vocal and
visual actions that people display when others are present.
Undirected,
you could observe and try to catalogue thousands of
behaviors in any one person. That would quickly become
an exercise in futility. But identifying behavioral
style is possible by classifying a person's behavioral
on two dimensions: openness and directness.
It
is much like measuring a foot for a shoe; make it wide
enough for the widest part and long enough for the longest
part, and the rest of the foot will fit someplace in
between.
Openness
is the readiness and willingness with which a person
outwardly shows emotions or feelings and develops interpersonal
relationships.
Others
commonly describe open people as being relaxed, warm,
responsive, informal, and personable. They tend to be
relationship-oriented. In conversations with others,
open individuals share their personal feelings and like
to tell stories and anecdotes.
They
tend to be flexible about time and base their decisions
more on intuition and opinion than on hard facts and
data. They also are likely to behave dramatically and
to give you immediate nonverbal feedback in conversation.
Guarded
individuals commonly are seen as formal and proper.
They tend to be more guarded and aloof in their interpersonal
relationships. These people are more likely to follow
the letter of the law and try to base their decisions
on cold, hard facts.
Guarded
individuals are usually very task oriented and disciplined
about time. As opposed to open people, they hide their
personal feelings in the presence of others.
Now
consider the second dimension--directness.
This
refers to the amount of control and forcefulness that
a person attempts to exercise over situations or other
people, their thoughts and their emotions.
Direct
people tend to "come on strong," take the social initiative,
and create a powerful first impression. They are fast-paced
people, making swift decisions and taking risks. They
easily become impatient with others who cannot keep
up with their fast pace. They are very active people
who do a lot of talking and appear confident and sometimes
dominant. Direct people express their opinions readily
and make emphatic statements.
On
the opposite end of the spectrum, indirect people give
the impression of being quiet, shy, and reserved. They
seem to be supportive and easy-going. They tend to be
security-conscious-moving slowly, meditation on their
decisions, and avoiding risks. They frequently ask questions
and listen more than they talk. They reserve their opinions
and make tentative statements when they must take a
stand.
Openness
and directness levels vary among individuals, and any
one person may be high in one, low in the other, or
somewhere in between. In other words, everyone has some
usual level of openness and some level of directness.
Behavior
Styles
When
directness is combined with openness it forms four different,
recognizable, and habitual behavior patterns or behavioral
styles: the socializer, the director, the thinker, and
the relater.
Each
style represents unique combinations of openness and
directness and is linked to separate and unique ways
of behaving with others. The name given to each style
reflects a very general characteristic rather than a
full or accurate description. As you better understand
why people behave the way they do, your knowledge can
help you communicate with others effectively and openly
to help them feel more comfortable in their interactions
with you.
Socializer:
Open and Direct
The
socializer is high in both directness and openness,
readily exhibiting such characteristics as animation,
intuitiveness, and liveliness. He is an idea person--a
dreamer--but he also can be viewed as manipulative,
impetuous, and excitable when displaying behavior inappropriate
to a particular situation.
The
socializer is a fast-paced person with spontaneous actions
and decisions. He is not concerned about facts and details,
and tries to avoid them as much as possible. This disregard
for details may prompt him at times to exaggerate and
generalize facts and figures.
The
socializer is more comfortable with "best guesstimates"
than with carefully researched facts. He thrives on
involvement with people and usually works quickly and
enthusiastically with others.
The
socializer always seems to be chasing dreams, but he
has the uncanny ability to catch others up in his dreams
because of his good persuasive skills. He always seems
to be seeking approval and pats on the back for his
accomplishments and achievements. The socializer is
a very creative person who has that dynamic ability
to think quickly on his feet.
Director:
Direct and Guarded
The
director is very direct and at the same time guarded.
He exhibits firmness in his relationships with others,
is oriented toward productivity and goals, and is concerned
with bottom-line results. Closely allied to these positive
traits, however, are the negative ones of stubbornness,
impatience, toughness, and even domineeringness.
A
director tends to take control of other people and situations
and is decisive in both his actions and decisions. He
likes to move at an extremely fast pace and is very
impatient with delays. When other people can't keep
up with his speed, he views them as incompetent. The
director's motto might well be "I want it done right
and l want it done now."
The
director is typically a high achiever who exhibits very
good administrative skills; he certainly gets things
done and makes things happen.
The
director likes to do many things at the same time. He
may start by juggling three things at the same time,
and as soon as he feels comfortable with those he picks
up a fourth. He keeps adding on until the pressure builds
to such a point that he turns his back and lets everything
drop. Then he turns right around and starts the whole
process over again.
Thinker:
Indirect and Guarded
The
person who has the thinker-style behavior is both indirect
and guarded. He seems to be very concerned with the
process of thinking, and is a persistent, systematic
problem-solver. But he also can be seen as aloof, picky,
and critical. A thinker is very security conscious and
has a strong need to be right. This leads him to an
over-reliance on data collection. In his quest for data
he tends to ask many questions about specific details.
His actions and decisions tend to be extremely cautious.
The
thinker works slowly and precisely by himself and prefers
an intellectual work environment that is organized and
structured. He tends to be skeptical and likes to see
things in writing.
Although
he is a great problem-solver, the thinker is a poor
decision-maker, he may keep collecting data even beyond
the time when a decision is due, justifying his caution
by saying, "When you are making vast decisions, you
cannot do it on half-vast data."
Relater:
Open and Indirect
The
fourth and last style, the relater, is open and unassertive,
warm, supportive, and reliable. However, the relater
sometimes is seen by others as compliant, soft-hearted,
and acquiescent. The relater seeks security and belongingness
and like the thinker, is slow at taking action and making
decisions. This procrastination stems from his desire
to avoid risky and unknown situations. Before he takes
action or makes a decision, he has to know how other
people feel about it.
The
relater is the most people-oriented of all four styles.
Having close, friendly, personal, and first-name relationships
with others is one of the most important objectives
of the relater's style.
The
relater dislikes interpersonal conflicts so much that
he sometimes says what he thinks other people want to
hear rather than what is really on his mind. The relater
has tremendous counseling skills and is extremely supportive
of other people. He also is an incredibly active listener.
You usually feel good just being with a relater. Because
a relater listens so well to other people, when it comes
his turn to talk, people usually listen. This gives
him an excellent ability to gain support from others.
Dr.
Tony Alessandra is
a best-selling author, entrepreneur and speaker in the fields of sales
and marketing. To learn more about him, his products and services,
visit http://www.alessandra.com. |