Now
you may ask why we would write an article about developing better relationships.
The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will
be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how
that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is.
Research
has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive and less
stressful at work. Developing a better relationship with your mate can
help you develop a better life and a better business! Here are some thoughts
to chew on for developing a strong and healthy relationship with your mate.
Listen.
Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the
key to communicating. Too often when we are quiet we are not listening,
but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what our mate is saying,
and intently trying to understand them, very often we are making mental
notes of what we would like to say in response. This is particularly
true for us males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our
mate's argument, rather than really listening to the words that they're
saying and the manner in which they're saying it. Why not take some
time this week trying to internalize and understand your mate's words and
feelings?
Schedule
a regular time to go out or spend time together. With today's busy
lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships on the backburner and
take them for granted. While we might have every intention of spending
regular time with our mate, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule
that has us running in every direction and leaving us little time for our
most important relationships. Work gets in the way. The kids
get in the way. Our hobbies get in the way. We need to realize
the value in the importance of that relationship with our mate and its
effect on our total life. Then we need to make spending time with our mate
a major priority by scheduling a specific time at least each week to get
alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship. Be sure
to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your
time together. Pencil it into your schedule and don't give up that spot.
In fact, it is probably best if you and your mate sit down and decide what
night will work each and every week, then put it into your daytimer.
If someone asks you if you're available at that time, you tell them you
already have an appointment. In the long run, that time that you
spend with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you
could ever mention.
Consider
your mate's interests more important than your own. When each person
has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating
relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you come to a place
where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, try
to get to the point where you can consider what your mate likes as more
important then what you would like to do. The simple decision to
do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!
Learn
your mate's love language. There is a lot of talk recently of
love languages. What this is, is that each individual has certain
ways they receive love from other people. Some people like to have time
spent
with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others
respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate verbal affirmation.
Our tendency is to show love the way that we like to receive love, but
what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out what way our
mate likes to receive affirmations of our love. To next time you
get a chance to speak to your mate, ask them which of the above ways they
like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious
effort to begin showing your love to them in that manner.
Do
the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate.
Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you
did show your love to your mate? But as time went along, you probably began
to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things
that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call
in the middle of the day just to talk or say "I love you," an appreciative
note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your relationship
by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when
your love first began to grow.
Forgive.
I've done a lot of work with couples were having troubles, and one of the
most common elements I find that is working against the development of
their relationship is that they are holding something against the other
and they aren't willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is
going to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that.
What we do when we get to that point however, is what will make all the
difference in the world. In a relationship that is going to last,
the people involved are committed to forgiving one another. Those whose
relationships last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are
committed to forgiveness.
I hope
these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging your love relationship.
I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we will
see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in
turn will make our whole life better.
Chris
Widener is a popular speaker and author as well as the President of
Made for Success. Just give him a call at (425) 526-6480 to schedule.
Be sure to visit www.madeforsuccess.com
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