The
poorest part of communication is listening!
Mastering
the art of listening will catapult you ahead of the
pack. The following is a summary of 20 articles, and
years of personal experiences, on the subject of listening:
When
others talk, do more than listen! Study their faces!!
*
Their emotions will be reflected in their facial expressions...from
exasperation to concern.
*
React to those feelings with your own head movements.
*
Sharp listeners do more than establish eye contact and
avoid fiddling with paperwork of checking their wristwatch
as someone speaks to them. They also use non-verbal
cues to underscore their desire to pay attention...
Move
Closer
In
the midst of a conversation, a sudden background noise
such as a whirring computer printer or a sputtering
vehicle engine can interfere.
*
That's when you should reduce the distance between you
and the speaker.
*
Lean toward a speaker to indicate you want to capture
every word. That makes the speaker feel more important
and sends him the message that you are determined to
listen.
Set
The Stage
*
If you invite someone into your office, don't seat them
in a plain metal chair while you're planted in an oversized
leather seat. Instead, arrange for both of you to sit
in the same types of chairs.
*
Also, come out from behind your desk or counter so that
you can listen without impediments.
*
Remove barriers between you and the speaker. This improves
the speaker's feeling of being listened to because you've
equalized the interaction. You want to be equally visible
and aligned with each other.
Let
Your Eyes Wander
Don't
assume you must maintain eye contact 100 percent of
the time. Such intent staring can make a speaker self-conscious.
*
Once in awhile, glance away to think or process something
you hear. Then remember once you disconnect eye contact,
restore it soon.
*
Some listeners look away and then tune out for good.
Visual stimuli may cause them to daydream, so they don't
return their eye contact to the speaker.
Calm
Down
If
you're itching to interrupt, it will show in your body
language. You may sway from side to side or nod too
much, as if to say "Yes, you've made your point; now
you're repeating yourself." This can make a speaker
feel rushed to finish, skipping key information.
Listen
for understanding rather than listening to respond.
That way, you'll keep an open posture. You'll avoid
crossing your arms to indicate you're closed to the
information coming in.
The
Result
It
will be clear that you're listening with the intention
of learning, rather than waiting for the right moment
to rebut.
Go
The Distance
Once
you strike an attentive listening pose, stick to it!
If you quickly lose interest, it may show in the way
you recline in your chair.
*
You can tell when impatient listeners stop listening
and start thinking of what they want to say next. How?
They appear less riveted to the speaker and more preoccupied.
They may pounce on any pause to jump in and redirect
the conversation.
*
But you'll learn more and build stronger rapport by
signaling your desire to wait out even a talkative speaker.
Moving
beyond mere "eye contact" will forge and amazing bond
between you and your prospective customer!
All
the best,
Paul
J. Meyer
You
can receive more information about Paul J. Meyer
and save 20-40% on his products at www.yoursuccessstore.com. Paul
J. Meyer Copyright © 1999 Paul J. Meyer ALL RIGHTS
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